what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize