forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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