I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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