My friends, they love my intelligence
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
