I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
