I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
