We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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