Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
