My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
