There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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