Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
