Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I believe in your delicious
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
