So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
