Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
