He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
