You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
