Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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