I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize