um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
