genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I intend to get homeless drunk
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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