You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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