i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
