I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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