i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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