walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
