did you get engaged???
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Randomize
