He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
