Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
