He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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