Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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