You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
