who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You ruined the universe
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
