There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize