well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
