i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
