what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
