So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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