Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
