Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
