i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
