i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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