absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
