the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
