Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
