it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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