you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
