Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
