I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
