don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
