Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
