it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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