he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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