She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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