only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My vagina is very pro this idea
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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