im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
