just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
