so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
