Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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