You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
