fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize