I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Oh god it's open bar.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
