Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
