Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
