also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
